Ideal geographical conditions for survival

  

     This is a very critical decision that you will be faced with, but eventually you must make a decision of where geographically you will be safest. It is important to know a few things about the undead when choosing a location to set up in. First is that being walking corpses, zombies have no internal body temperature and will freeze in harsh winter conditions. Two is their inability to climb or overcome rough obstacles such as impassable mountains and other natural land barriers due to their lack of coordinated motor skills. Three is the fact that corpses don't float, so a life at sea may be a viable option.
    So knowing these basic facts, you should make the trek to the nearest mountain range and set up at high altitude for safety. The cold conditions up in the mountains will either freeze out or confound the movement of the undead. There is also the option of the far north in areas like the arctic circle where indigenous peoples will probably be largely unaffected. The infected will freeze into zombie sickles making them easy to dispatch. You will find a way to adapt to the cold if you are a true survivor. Otherwise get a boat and raid ports around the world for supplies and live off of the ocean. Either way the rougher the terrain is, the more difficult it is for the undead to move about in it, and ultimately will provide more relative safety for you as a nomadic survivor.

Guns or Blades?

There is a time for both guns and blades when hacking your way through the hordes of the undead. But it is part of our skills of good decision making that I have been talking about that will help us understand what type of weapon is pertinent to the current situation. Guns are effective, one good crack to the head and the ghoul is dead, but guns are noisy and draw attention. Blades or blunt trauma weapons are ideal for slipping through an area while trying to keep a low key. It may take a few additional swings with a bat or crowbar to do the job, but  its still preferable to a raucous bang bang sound. The most readily available and possibly efficient blade that can be found about is a machete. Any decent hardware store or outdoor/sporting goods location should have one you can pilfer. Keep it sharp, and one good swing will dismember any nasties you run into, and remember you don't have to reload a blade. It is never unwise, though, to carry at the very least a sidearm with a few boxes of ammunition. Shotguns are the pinnacle of zombie slaying technology and are useful for clearing small to medium-large rooms quickly and efficiently. Again only use guns when it is absolutely critical that you do so, and make sure that if you do end up having to blast your way out of somewhere to make sure and get the hell out of dodge as soon as your able. Nothing alerts the horde better than the rings of small arms fire.

Dogs rule in the zombie wasteland! They have so many beneficial things to offer a survivor in a who is roaming the wilds in the dawn of the dead. However, you will need a real dog and not some silly chihuahua or other useless lapdog, but you will want one thats not too big. Big dogs are prone to bad health and don't live as long, your better suited sticking with dog breeds like retrievers, or bird dogs. Even working class dogs like terriers of any sort. Here is a brief list of things a dog can provide you with that are the most beneficial.

1. Company

sometimes the company of anything is all you need to keep your mind from plummeting over the edge into insanity after long periods with little to no human contact. Dogs are great listeners and don't ever interrupt your ranting.

2. Look-out

A dogs keen sense of smell and their sharp ears pick up on things that we would otherwise be completely oblivious to, like the pack of lurkers coming up on our campsite at night. No one likes to get stuck with their thumb up their ass, completely off guard, and a dog will make sure you are aware of whats near.

3. Location and retrieval 

any dog worth keeping around will be able to sniff out food and water, their sense of smell has a multitude of useful advantages that yours does not. Dogs are good at fetching game you kill, or finding other survivors. Your never find a more dedicated companion for the harsh times ahead.

Don't be scared to let that dog know whats up and who is boss. Establishing roles is a very critical first step when you first acquire your dog. Don't put up with any funny business and swiftly punish and discourage and silly or goofy behaviors with a swift backhand to the head. This will help control excess barking and other behaviors that attract unwanted attention and are to be discouraged. You may not even want to name it because if the time comes when its either you or the dog things like petty emotional attachments caused by naming it could lead you to compromise your safety to protect your service animal, be prepared to ditch it, zombies don't want your dog, they want your brains.

Sweet places to raid for supplies

    
     It is a bitter fact that wal-mart will no longer be open 24 hours a day to service us, but we will never the less still need munitions and all other manner of stuff during the post-outbreak years. These things range from ammunition to medical supplies, or tools etc. and the attendant at the local hardware store now wants to munch on your innards. So what to do huh? Well luckily most cities will have forced an evacuation and ultimately shopping centers will be abandoned in small, isolated areas on the outskirts of town. Never venture into the heart of any large population centers or main roadways. Truck stops are prime looting, as well as pawn shops, and small mom-and pop-grocery stores for non perishables. Make sure to tag any local bait stores for fishing supplies and booze! Always scope out the location diligently for a few hours from a safe distance. After a proper stake out then you should take a peek in the windows to ensure vacancy, and always proceed armed and cautious for anything. It is preferable to venture out on these risky endeavors during the daylight. Good decision making practices will tell us that threats are easier to spot during the day. Get what you need and do not linger, and quickly and quietly dispatch of any creepers you might encounter. Its risky business but raiding for supplies is a necessary personal endangerment, be smart and be quiet.

Ideas for sleeping arrangements.

    

     Now is a good time to discuss sleeping arrangements in post-apocalyptia. As we well know zombies cannot climb, so one of the safest and most readily available sleeping destinations is up a tree. All one will need is a climbing tree-stand like rednecks use to hunt with and some other basic equipment. To be safe, snatch a few tarps from a local hardware store, and some thermal clothing for winter time and a good sized knife. You can sling all that up with your ruck sack and beat it down the road like a good survivor should. When its time to retire for the evening, all you have to do is climb up a safe distance into a sturdy tree and anchor yourself in and string a tarp over your head. Its that easy and you have reliable, and safe sleeping without getting chewed on. Don't worry, you'll get used to sleeping strapped in sitting up right after a while, bring a neck pillow.

If I should find other survivors, should I join with them, or keep flying solo?

  

      I want to really speak to the core of how to be a survivor in these coming times. Its all about being decisive, knowing what your immediate intentions are and have an action plan in place before you even make your next move. I am trying to appeal to your better judgement, and the most critical skill you can posses in a post outbreak world, is good decision making. This will be critical in the weeks, months, or even years to come, and that is when and if you find other survivors avoid the temptation to immediately seek other human contact. This allows you the opportunity to effectively asses and make the best decision about if this prolonged contact with this other survivor is truly going to best serve your needs.
     The breakdown of my lesson here is less about totally avoiding other contact with other survivors all together, but be very choosy about who's company you keep. Early in the first stages of the outbreak, shortly after marshal law has all but crumbled under the rising weight of the undead, this is the time of the culling, don't tie yourself down to any that are not essential priorities. Immediate family, children, etc. are all you should worry about because your friends are probably ghouls by now and the larger your group the more ineffective it becomes anyway. Eventually, though, times may or may not arise where you might have to look out sheerly for your own sake. Moving past the, "what if's," let's examine the basics of what you need so that we can better asses if joining in a mutual partnership can benefit you or not.
    
1. Are they soft looking, physically? A thing to remember is that you will do most of your moving on foot eventually, and porkers and wienies need not apply, they will only slow you down, consume more rations, and if they can't work they won't make it.

2. No family units, These types of survivor packs are very welcoming and eager to find anyone who will aide them. At some point in time you will encounter a situation where a child/grandparent/parent/wife/brother/sister (insert family member) will do something stupid, or any other manner of obnoxious behavior, and get you all endangered. The family will always want to go back for them or defend their irresponsible behavior, because they all have family ties. They aren't your family, don't die for those assholes. Use them for any immediate short term benefit that they can supply and then ditch them at you convenience. If they can better serve your interests as well as you theirs, then the game changes. What can they offer you in exchange for your company?

3. You will need food, water, shelter, and weapons. The shelter is a relative word for anywhere that you can lay your head down with confidence. You should never sleep in the same place more than a few times so you must prepare to be nomadic.

4. You could be greatly benefited by anyone with mechanical knowledge, especially automobiles, but mechanical in general is always helpful.

5. Also having an individual with specialized combat training such as a soldier or police officer.

6. ANYONE with medical knowledge, nurses, doctors, etc.

7. Any individuals with any outdoor/wildlife/farming etc knowledge can never hurt either.

     Be cautious of forming alliances with other survivors until you know their true worth, and never trust anyone until they have proven they are worthy. Keep your group sizes minimal and never tolerate loose cannons, hotheads or over emotional people are zombie magnets. Good decision making teaches us how to appraise, if you will, the caliber of person that will accompany you. It helps us decide who is beneficial and who is not, the is no margin for error, and screw-ups need not apply. If the shoe doesn't fit than ditch it, flying solo is sometime the only way to go, because no one else has your best interests in mind more than you.

Fight or Flight?

    

    
     Often in the zombie apocalypse one will be faced with many hairy situations. It is your ability to asses threats and respond accordingly that will keep you from being an untimely snack. People often feel that they could just muscle their way through a sticky situation, but this is not always the best route to survival. It takes a concise assessment of your surroundings, if you are outside you must scope the terrain, is it fit for effective flight on foot? Difficult terrain, while a not only a henderance to the clumsy undead, is also a hendrance to you. Short term evasive maneuvers through difficult terrain are advantageous, but long treks are not advised. Rough ground not only tires you more quickly, but your pursuers have no lack of stamina as you do. Also if you are indoors raiding for supplies or munitions, remember, always know the exits, and always know how you got to where you are. If you have to stop and think too long about how to get back, you have already put yourself at risk. Time for pause leaves time for error.
     This brings us back to the central thesis of this lesson, fight or flight. I would advise that one never tie themselves up in an indoor battle, flee first. Outdoors, however, is a different ballgame all together. You have the advantage of mobility that the infected do not, and use it wisely. If the terrain, and relative number of undead surrounding you permits, slay them. Those zombies that catch your scent will pursue you with unrequited determination. If you leave them be, and run while in the open and are not overwhelmed by numbers, you have made a fatal mistake. They will start the ominous moan, that will call out to all other zombies in the area, warning of fresh meat near by. There is nothing worse than alerting the horde of your presence. Quickly dispatch them, and make your leave with all due haste.
     Ultimately the best advice that I can give is to go with your gut, it does not lie. No matter how favorable your odds seem in a fight, ultimately if you feel uncomfortable, or your getting a bad vibe, run and do not stop until you have put several leagues between you and your assailants. Flying solo is much more risky than in a group where open engagements with multiple undead is much less dangerous. This is a topic for another lesson, though. More likely than not you will be alone in the wake of the zombie apocalypse, and flying solo mio is statistically the safest, while large groups have safety in numbers and the advantage of coordinated efforts they also stir much more attention. Fly under the radar and stay on the move, familiarize yourself with your surroundings, indoors and out, and always go with your gut on weather to flee or stand and fight.

Always flee first, the best defense is separating yourself from the threat.

When you see the first signs of the undead, don't hesitate to flee to seclusion to collect yourself. Always have a safe house stocked with essentials for immediate flight. Flashlights, guns, ammunition, melee weapons, non perishable food items, water, gasoline, and most importantly a vehicle should all be a part of your safe house. Vagrancy is truly the best policy in the zombie wasteland. While human nature would tell us to hole up in a fortified area until help comes, the grim reality is.....help is not going to come. Eventually zombies will lay an unending siege to your location that if by sheer weight of numbers does not overwhelm your defenses, then they will block your escape when at last you are forced to move due to lack of supplies. The most advisable route to take is to have an emergency kit rat holed in an area you frequent. That will give you the breathing room you need to then make your flight to the safe house. This is critically important to your survival, there is no margin for error when the time to flee comes. For a lack of better terminology, be ready to, "bust a move," at the first sign of anything fishy, full out, assholes and elbows. Live to fight another day, only idiots and douche bags stand and fight. So to be brutally honest, to all those tubby, flat footed mouth-breathers that will be the first to get it...lose the weight and work on your cardio because there is no room or mercy for the weak during the apocalypse.

So your not sure what the zombie apocalypse will bring...

The Zombie Apocalypse will most definitely catch most suckers off guard. The thing to remember is that to be a survivor you have to be on point, and aware of your surroundings at all times. Its all a numbers game really, for example, the more populous an area the worse it will be affected. People will be blissfully unaware of the airborne virus that is reanimating the corpses of the recently dead into infectious flesh devourers. The first few weeks will be tumultuous and most ignorant and stupid people will be knocked off quickly to feed the teeming zombie horde. The first and most important lesson in your education of the living dead is being able to identify a zombie. There will be no convenient warning signs, and proper quarantine will not be enforced until far too late in the game. With proper skills of observation you too can be prepared to spot threats on the fly.

How to spot a Zombie: a visual checklist

   this checklist is built in with confidence percentages. Add the percentage values of each 

   numbered item based upon visual inspection. If the scores total 50% or more that is more

   than enough to assume that they are a ghoul and appropriate supressive measures can follow

1. Does the individual have an awkward gate when they walk? (10%)

      *don't mistake drunk people or hobbled veterans for zombies.

2. Do they respond to verbal communication with discernible speech? (10%)

      * be keen for gurggling, moaning, or screeching, all of which are reason to keep a good buffer zone between

         yourself and the suspicious bugaboo.

3. Do the smell wicked nasty, say like.... Corpsey? (20%)

4. Are they currently feasting upon the flesh of, or otherwise accosting random victims in their vicinity? (50%)

5. Are their eyes glossed over and hollow, locked on you, and are they moving towards you, arms outstretched? (50%)